What's So Scary About Gays Getting Married? (My thoughts on Gay Marriage)

I read the news about California people voting against gay marriage last November 5th. It's really upsetting to know that there are still people who won't give gays their right to marry the people they love. After the historical win of Obama, California voters wrongfully denied gays their right to marry their partners.

If you've read my previous posts, you know that I've been with my life partner Mai for more than 3 years now. We've been living together for more than 2 years. As much as we want to get married, we can't because Philippine laws don't allow gays to get married here.

I've had "straight" relationships before Mai. My nanay was completely shocked and disappointed to learn the fact that after 26 years of being with men, I'm in a "gay" relationship with Mai. My nanay and I had arguments and discussions regarding my relationship with Mai. She told me that it's against our religion (I'm Catholic). She argued that it's against God's will because a woman is meant to be with a man.

I completely disagreed with her with the part wherein she said that it's against God's will. I don't believe God disapproves of gay relationships. He looks at us as 2 people who are in love, that's it. I told my nanay that's the only thing that matters.

I also argued that if God didn't love us, why would we receive blessings from Him? He allowed me and Mai to work for the same company, to have the same schedule, to overcome all obstacles that we've encountered in our 3-year relationship. I don't believe God will judge me based on who I love but how I live my life, how I treat others, if I'm following the Golden Rule.

By the way, if you read the Bible, you should know that there were written events of certain practices such as slavery, sacrificing other humans for "blessings" - argh. I don't even want to discuss that here. Don't get me wrong, though. I just believe that the "Holy" Bible was written by humans. All I care about is that God wants me to treat others the way I want to be treated (Golden Rule).

I understood that my nanay was so disappointed because she already lost all chances of having a grandkid. My brother, FYI, is also gay. Our parents knew he's gay since he was in high school. So, my parents were hoping to have a grandkid when I decide to get married with a man. Hey, they can still have one with me or Kenneth. We're both planning to have our own adopted kids with our partners in the future.

Regarding labels, I don't consider myself a lesbian. I'm not attracted to other women. But, I appreciate both men and women. Bisexual? No, I don't think so. I just don't want to label myself as a lesbian or bisexual. All I know is I'm in love with Mai.

I don't understand why, in this millenium, gays are still not given the right to marry the people they love. I'm not for gay marriage because I'm with Mai. Even before I led this "gay" life, I questioned why there are people who still think that God doesn't love gay people.

I've got a lot of homosexual friends - gays, lesbians, bisexuals, even transexuals. There are a lot of smart gay people. They're emotionally stable and professionals.

I'm also friends with the other type of gay people - those who are loud, completely open with their sexuality, that might irritate most people. But, still, I believe EVERYONE should be given the right to MARRY the person they love and believe they want to spend the rest of their lives with.

I know that most people who stereotype against gays, thinking that all gays and lesbians can't sustain stable relationships, are those who don't have gay friends. I have gay friends and I know gay couples, young and old, who have been together for years and their relationships are as stable as they can get.

From my observations, homosexuals, especially lesbians, tend to exert more effort with their relationships. Maybe because it's difficult to find someone who's willing to get into the "gay life" and accept their sexuality.

Why are there people against gay marriage? I tried to come up with reasons and, so far, here's what I got:

1. They're scared that their kids might end up a homosexual when gays are allowed to marry and express their sexuality in the open.
I believe it's up to you as a parent to guide them. If they end up gay later in their lives, you have to accept them and continue loving them. I know that's easier said and done. Even I want my future kids to be straight. But, I wouldn't make it difficult for my kids if they want to lead the gay life. Not accepting them will cause more problems in the future.

2. They believe it's against God's will, the Bible or whatever their religion taught them since they were young.
I grew up a Catholic but I believe that God accepts us and forgives us for our sins. I don't consider being gay a sin, though. Like what I've said earlier, I believe that God cares more about how we treat each other and ourselves. I believe that as long as you're not hurting anyone, you can go ahead and live your life.

3. Gays are all vulgar people/Homosexual relationships are all about sex.
This is completely wrong. I've seen gay couples who have way better relationships than my straight friends.

And out of all the relationships (believe me, I've had lots) that I had in my life, this relationship with Mai has been the best. I never expected that I'll be falling in love with someone of the same sex. But, here I am, more than 3 years in a relationship with Mai and still completely in love with her. We want to get married in the future, maybe outside the Philippines.

4. Gays are not NORMAL people.
What the hell?!?! I know of highly successful gays in almost every professional field out there so people who think gays are of the lowest breed of humans, they'd better look around.

5. Gays became homosexuals because they can't find anyone straight to be with them.
I won't deny it. There are lame people who'll go into a relationship with gay people because they're desperate. Even my nanay thought I was desperate. Haller?!? I can be with whoever I choose before Mai but I chose to be with her. I just hate it when people think gays are losers. I hate it when ignorant people speak about something they don't really comprehend.

* * * * *

I pity the 18,000 gay couples who got married in California. Because of some people's close-mindedness, their marriage would be considered null and void. Tsk tsk.

I don't think our country, the Philippines, will ever legalize gay marriage. Most people here are close-minded. That is why me and Mai are planning to go abroad just so we can marry. I know that the laws here won't still recognize us as a married couple but just the thought and feeling of getting married to the one I love the most will suffice. But we also have plans of living abroad or in a country where people like us are socially fully accepted.

*sigh* I envision a day when homosexuals will be completely accepted by everyone. Stop the prejudice and discrimination please.

Can you tell me of other reasons why people are so against gay marriage?

I dedicate this post to my brother, my gay friends and Mai:


Pictures (L to R):
Mai, Kenneth (my bro), Lindon & Joseph, Joel, Saji, James

Quotes on Gay Life:
"It seems to me that the real clue to your sex-orientation lies in your romantic feelings rather than in your sexual feelings. If you are really gay, you are able to fall in love with a man, not just enjoy having sex with him."
- Christopher Isherwood

"It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother."
- Charles Pierce

"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
- Robin Williams