Okay, before anyone of you goes on wondering why I'm having mixed emotions about my BFF Tina's wedding, it's not because I'm against the wedding or something. I'm so happy for her and I genuinely wish her well. The mixed emotions isn't really about her and her upcoming wedding. It's not because she didn't include me or any of our barkada in her entourage (trust me, I'm glad she didn't. At least I'm not going to worry about wearing bridesmaid dresses. It's not just my thing. *LOL*). Okay, just read on.
In about a week, my best friend Tina would be walking down the aisle to marry her boyfriend. I'm so excited to experience her wedding with her. I know this is a VERY special day in her life and I would never miss the opportunity to be there for her, to let her know there's someone else who's happy she's going through this phase in her life. (Okay, I'm getting a li'l teary-eyed here and I'm just starting!)
I'm actually buying an extra battery for our digital camera because I want to take lots of photos during her wedding. I know, they have their own photographer, but his photos will reflect his view of that wedding. I've got a different perspective because my friend of almost two decades now is getting married! It's something really special for me. I actually feel like I'm the one getting married!
I'm not the only one who's excited about her wedding. I know our friends Jaan, Sheryl and Mina are happy, too, and wishing her well and all the wedding bliss in the world. Sheryl and I were even talking about how surprised we are that Tina is beating ME in the race to getting married. Okay, there isn't really an actual race or competition on who gets married first, but I guess they all thought I'd be the first to tie the knot. Now, Tina would be officially the first among my high school best friends to enjoy wedding bliss.
No, I'm not jealous. Okay, I am… a little. Hahaha. I'm jealous because there's this one person who makes her happy and loved, romantically. When I saw her over a month ago for our bonding time, I saw that glimmer in her eyes. She was blooming (what a cliche) into this really beautiful and happy woman that I've never seen before. Well, from experience, I know that's what good LOVE can do to you.
Yeah, I'm jealous, but, I know my time would come. I would meet that someone who would make me believe in marriage and the lifetime commitment that comes with it. For now, I'm just going to enjoy life and not wait. If no one comes, then, I'd be completely contented that I experienced LOVE once or twice in my life.
Okay, enough about me. Going back to Tina, I can't think of a gift for her yet. I told her I'll just send her my gift next year. I've got a ton of things listed that I'd love to give her, but I want to make it really special because Tina is so special to me. She's a big part of my life and would continue to be even when she'd be miles away. I'm hoping I could finally decide on what to give her.
I'm the only one among our barkada who's confirmed to come to her wedding. I wish we'd all be there to celebrate with Tina, but unfortunately, Jaan and Mina won't be able to make it. But, I promised them that I'll set up a post-wedding celebration with just us girls by January. I miss all of them. And I miss us all together. We usually have a get-together before or after the holidays. The last time I saw Jaan, Mina and Sheryl was like years! But, they're still 4 of the most important people in my life.
A VERY old photo of my "barkadang tunay". I hate how I looked on
this photo but it's the only one I could find of all of us 5. *LOL*
Jaan was a li'l disappointed that we haven't seen each other for ages. She was saying things like I was just making excuses not to see them. *LOL* I was actually touched when she said that 'cause I know how much she misses me. I miss her, too, so much. I miss all our serious and crazy conversations, may it be online or face-to-face. I reminded her of what we used to tell each other - that we don't need to always text, call or see each other. Deep inside, we know, we love and care for each other. And I think she'll be the next one to get married. Tina and Jaan were the last people I imagined to get married first among our barkada. Now, I'm the most single of us five. *LOL*
Anyway, going back to Tina's wedding (again), I just want to say that DIY wedding invites rock! Look at this one she and her family made. I love them! I haven't received mine yet though *LOL*

I know she's busy so I told her not to worry too much about the album and invites meant for me and the rest of our barkada. We could wait. I told her to focus on her actual wedding. I hope everything goes well on her wedding day. As much as I would love to be with her all the time to help her completely with the wedding preparations, I couldn't. My schedule's a bit hectic, too, with all the things I need to do offline and online. But, I'm praying for her and for her wedding to be a complete success. And, of course, for her happiness. :)