Age is Just a Number

I turned 31 last October. I was with my closest friends who have known me for years so the whole turning-a-year-older experience was completely bearable. I know, some of you might think I’m too shallow for complaining about being a 30-something woman. And I believe most people think it’s because I’m still single.

Whenever we have relatives or family friends who come over or see me, they always ask if I already have a boyfriend, when I’m planning to get married or settle down, and all those ridiculously personal questions. I still can’t believe they had the nerve to ask me in a semi-condescending tone. Seriously?

Though I think it’s rude, I see why they couldn’t help but ask. It’s part of our culture to expect women to be happily married with kids by our 30s. Some of them might also be concerned, but I don’t understand how they can ask me those questions when they know barely anything about me. That’s why I usually just laugh at the pieces of advice they give me. In my head, I’m saying, “You don’t know me. I AM happy.” But, I think it’ll just be a waste of my time to explain my situation to someone who felt they were wise enough to know what’s truly going on.

The real deal is this - if I wanted to be in a relationship now, if you know me, I’d be in one already (and we could’ve been celebrating in a few days *grin*). But, I’m taking my time. If a guy can’t understand that I need to take things slow for now and not rush into another committed relationship, then, he’s better off finding someone else. I need someone who would respect what I need to do for myself and still want to be with me.

That’s why it sucks to be a single woman in your 30s because people judge you. They think you’re lonely, sad and unfulfilled just because you’re not yet married or you don’t have kids yet. Some may even go out on a limb to express their concern that I’m running out of time in the motherhood race.

Though I pictured myself to have at least a kid by the time I hit my 30s, I’m not sad about being single. In all honesty, I have never been happier. I am doing what I love: designing, writing / blogging, managing my own business while getting to meet a lot of wonderful people, dining in different restaurants, taking trips with my loved ones, and having full control over my time.

Just because I’m a 31-year old single woman doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. I’m on a different path than most women my age. And having a family is not the only thing that can fulfill a woman.

Age is never a reason for you to settle. NEVER. I don’t really care if people judge me for being single at this age. My parents, especially my mother, are all in a hurry for me to get married or at least live in with someone so I can have a chance to bear a child before my 35th birthday. But, I won’t let all that pressure bring me down. I believe everything wonderful that’s supposed to happen in my life will come to me in God’s time. And all I have to do is be patient.

Don’t get me wrong, I want all that – being with someone I truly love and enjoying my life with him and our kid/s (noticed how I avoided the use of the word “married”?) – but not having all that now doesn’t mean I’m unhappy. I have a ton more reasons to be thankful. And if I’m not blessed with a partner in this lifetime, I’ll be okay with that. I’m a very independent woman and I can take care of myself.

The only reason why I don’t like being 30-plus now is because I have not reached my full potential yet. In a way, I envy my brother Ken for knowing what his true passion is at the age of 23. I only realized my passion in life, what I should be doing to make ME happy, last year, right after my 30th birthday. But, like I always say, it’s better late than never.

So, yes, I’m feeling great about being a 31-year old woman because I feel like the opportunities coming my way are leading me towards my goal, to what I’m supposed to be doing at this day and age. I just hope people will stop looking at me like I’m someone to be pitied. The fact is, possibly, I may be happier than you are now, you married-with-3-lovely-kids you. I am HAPPY.