Individually Together

While I was watching Fairly Legal (one of my favorite TV series now), I realized how much I can relate to how Kate Reed deals with her relationship with her (ex) husband. She struggles to keep the balance between her passion for her work and her love for him. And, in my opinion, if someone truly loves you, he or she should understand and accept that your work, your drive, they’re all part of who you are.

The thing is, Kate still makes sure to spend time with him. But, her husband wants more from her that she can’t give at the moment.

TogetherWhen most of us are in a relationship, we have all these crazy expectations that the other person should be as expressive towards you the same way you are to them. We have to understand that we’re unique. We show our feelings or how much we care in different ways. Your partner may have a different way of showing you they love you, and you may be way more expressive than he or she is, but that doesn’t mean you’re not at the same level emotionally. In fact, I believe that it’s unfair to compare how much you love each other ’cause it’ll just end up in a fight because the end-result of the debate or argument will always be someone loves the other person more.

The truth is, for me, that’s completely okay. If I love a guy more than he loves me, as long as he’s loyal, he cares for me and genuinely wants to be with me, I wouldn’t care about the amount of love we have for each other. The truth of the matter is, is there any sure-fire way to measure that?

Based on my experiences, I believe that for a relationship to work, two people should be individually together. What I mean by that is they still have to pursue what they wanted in life while the other is right behind, all supportive. I’ve had relationships wherein the other person didn’t want me to continue on something I wanted to pursue. I ended up resenting them for it. And that’s the worst that could happen – being together, but the other person is filled with remorse.

LoveI am ambitious, and I need someone who would understand that. I need to be with someone who won’t feel insecure about my feelings towards him just because I’m not as available to him the way he wanted me to be. I admit that I’m not expressive, but when I’m in a relationship and I’m in love with someone, I give everything I can and more. I reserve a portion of my time and love for myself because I believe that to effectively be in a relationship with another individual and to keep the fire going, you have to continue to be the same person they fell in love with. Don’t change who you are. Adjust, sure, but don’t let a relationship change you completely that you’d be unrecognizable.

Until someone would get that, I’m happy where I am now.