Category Archives: Random Rants

Goodbye, Bechay

We don’t deserve you. This home doesn’t deserve you. I know you’re in a better place now.

Scary Bechay LOL

You looked healthy and ready to rule our house when you arrived here in 2011, even when we knew you were an old cat.

I’m sorry if we’re not the home you were hoping us to be

If it’s just you, Ken and I, you know we’d be cuddling and chasing each other around the house.

If it was just you, Ken and I, probably Lucas and Bochok will still be here with us.

I am so sorry for everything you had to endure. You deserve a better family. And I know you’re in a happier place now.

Please say hi to Stacie, Lucas, Botchok, Maui, Heidi and Negneg for me.

Meet Bochok and Bechay, our new Persian cats

I love you, Betchay. I miss you already. πŸ™

I’m heartbroken to say goodbye to another pet. Bochok and Bechay have made me realize I am a cat lover.

I’m mad and heartbroken at the same time because of things I couldn’t control. πŸ™

I swear to never adopt another pet until I know I have a real caring home for them. Not just a house, but a family who will sincerely care for them even when I’m not around.

Things Always Happen for a Reason… Right?

DepressionI’m not sure if it was PMS, but this past few days, I see myself feeling depressed over what’s been happening in my life. Just when I thought my life’s smooth-sailing, things started going on a different direction than I originally planned.

I now have to make some important decisions that I’m not ready for. I thought I wouldn’t have to think about these concerns for years, but here I am, wallowing on what my next steps would be. *sigh*

However, there’s a glimpse of hope still remaining. If there’s one lesson I learned the past five years of my life, it’s this: Everything happens for a reason.

When I look back on some of the troubles I encountered in the past, I quickly realize that if I didn’t go through them, I wouldn’t be exactly where I am. Sure, I have regrets here and there, or things I wish I could change, but this way of thinking helps me calm the fuck down and remind myself to be patient.

Things seem to always fall into place, so I know there’s a reason for everything I’m going through right now. I have imagined what would be the end results of all of this, but I didn’t want to get ahead of myself and be disappointed when any of my expectations are not met or something else happened other than what I originally had in mind.

I just wish that whatever the reason is, or if God is directing me to where I need to be, I hope it happens this year. I hope it’s good for me ’cause I honestly need something to pick me up off this rut I’m stuck in.

Day 2: Being Single Sometimes Sucks

It’s Day 2 of my take on The Single Woman 30-day blogging challenge. Here’s the topic, which I find very amusing:

day2

Though I’m happy where I am now, I’d be a hypocrite if I say that I’m perfectly okay and 100% happy being single. There are times when it sucks.

Though I’m very close with my bro, my mom and my best friends, and they’d be more than glad to join me in whatever I feel like doing, it’s different when you’re with someone romantically special. It’s hard to explain. It’s like sharing your life and loves with someone who wasn’t there for most part of your life… and you’re getting to know each other through various activities like traveling and even doing artsy or crazy stuff, and still ending up in awe of this one person who you feel is your long-lost soulmate… and, yes, the making love part, of course. πŸ˜›

I can’t really pinpoint a specific day or moment when being single sucked the most, but I can give you a few times when I miss being in a romantic relationship.

Valentine’s day – I know, this is such a cliche answer, but it’s when every couple seem to be all sweet to each other and they feel the need to let the whole world (read: Facebook, Twitter or Instagram) know about it. I’ve never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day. I don’t think it’s a special day at all. I prefer to celebrate anniversaries or monthsaries (yeah, I can be that cheesy πŸ˜€ ).

When-Im-single-all-I-see-are-couples-being-happy.-When-Im-sating-someone-all-I-see-are-singles-being-happy

New Year’s Eve – For me, Christmas is for family, New Year’s Eve is for couples. I don’t know, but that’s how it’s been for me. I guess kissing someone at midnight, just before the first second of the new year approaches, is sooo romantic. πŸ˜€ And I miss that.

Whenever I see a couple on my Facebook news feed who I know, in real life, are best friends or are really in love, or I watch a Youtube video of a wedding or proposal. I know, I shouldn’t be watching these videos or looking at their photos, but I sometimes feel the need to remind myself that I miss feeling loved and being loved by someone. With how busy I get, I sometimes forget that it’s one of the things that makesΒ  me happy. And yes, I still believe in love… I believe in love so much that I won’t settle for anything less than true love. πŸ™‚

Relationship between 2 people - not the whole world

Watching movies, especially when the characters profess their love for each other or they express how they accept each other completely and lovingly. Ugh. Most of the time, that tears me up. I guess this helps in keeping me from becoming a cold-hearted bitch. πŸ˜€

Giving advice to my friends who are in relationships. Since I’ve been in almost every kind of romantic relationship you can think of, my friends feel like I can give them a sound advice when they’re having love troubles. And I believe I do, but it kinda reminds me of how awesome of a lover I am… but, here I am, single. That sucks. πŸ˜€

Singing songs about love. I love to sing. I now sing while working, cleaning my room, putting my makeup on, just doing my usual after-bath routine or even when I’m trying to sleep. So when I hear songs that I used to dedicate to someone special, I couldn’t help but reminisce. Good thing I can always hit on the Next button to listen to another song. But, yes, listening to songs that remind me of my past loves sucks at times, especially when it’s about people I truly cared about.

I’m not a fan of PDA (public displays of affection) ’cause I like to keep things in private. So, when I see couples who are showing just the right amount of affection in public, especially when the guy is a complete gentleman, I feel a tinge of envy. Just a tinge. πŸ˜›

Sometime around my birthday. I guess it’s because, 10 years ago, I envisioned myself to be in a loving relationship at 30+. This is probably the only time that being single has been consistently suck-y for me. πŸ˜€ But, I get over it after a few hours.

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It’s Day 2 and it seems like I can’t write a short blog post around the topic of the day. πŸ˜€ I’m more chatty in written form and I tend to let my brain loose when I’m blogging. πŸ˜€

Finally, Now Using WordPress!

After years of contemplating if I should migrate this blog to WordPress, I finally did it! And I’m excited to blog here more often.

This blog has been neglected for months now. I mean sure, there were updates here and there, but nothing really personal. I miss writing or typing away on my laptop, blurting out all the words that comes to mind without thinking about SEO, what images I’ll insert in between each paragraph, what people would think or how they would react, or missing any deadline I’ve set for myself. With this blog, I can write freely and not worry about anything else but letting my thoughts and feelings out into this small space in the blogosphere.

I decided to finally move this blog to WordPress because I feel that one of the reasons why I wasn’t as dedicated to updating this blog was because of the restricted editing I can do with Blogger. Now that I’m on WordPress, there are no more excuses. πŸ˜€

For now, I’m working on personalizing the theme of this blog so you’ll see bits and pieces of the layout I’m creating. In the meantime, you can visit my food blog and my product review blogΒ for updates on other things that are keeping me busy these days. πŸ™‚

Musings about The Mistress : Not a Review

I just finished watching The Mistress, a Filipino / Tagalog movie starring John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo. The story revolved around mistresses, secret affairs and other typical scenarios you’d see in a Filipino movie – rich boy falls for poor girl, they can’t be together. Since I basically almost summed up what the story is about in this first paragraph, needless to say, this ain’t a review.

The Mistress starring Bea Alonzo and John Lloyd Cruz

In case you haven’t watched the movie yet, (SPOILER ALERT!!!) John Lloyd plays the role of Eric / JD Torres. He’s an architect and the son of wealthy businessman Rico (Ronaldo Valdez) and Regina Torres (Hilda Koronel). Bea is Sari Alfonso who is a seamstress who came from a poor, big family led by her mother Carmi Martin. Eventually, you’ll know that Sari is Rico’s mistress, and JD / Eric later finds out about this, but still pursues Sari.

You might be wondering now why I’m writing this blog post about the movie with no intention of reviewing it. I guess there were lines and scenes from the movie that hit me. Sure, I’ve been the other woman and on the cheating end, so you’d really expect that The Mistress has affected me in a way.

Yes, I admit, it did, especially the part where JD said Sari deserved someone who is completely hers, who she didn’t have to share with anyone else – in short, she deserves more than leftover love. I realized this a long, long time ago and I’ll never put myself in that situation again ’cause I know now how it feels to be the cheater, the other woman and the clueless girlfriend, and how good it is to be with someone who’s got eyes for only you. Whenever I deal with boys (for me, real men are monogamous) who act and talk like they’re God’s gifts to women, I keep telling myself I deserve better.

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why I’m still single.

 

The Blame Game

Aside from the obvious effect on me of this movie, what surprised me was how mature Bea’s character was. Her mother (Carmi) was a mistress too. After everything with JD and Rico got all messed up, her mother was apologizing for what Sari is going through ’cause she felt like it was her fault – she wasn’t a good example.

After years of watching select Filipino / Tagalog movies, I didn’t expect Sari to say that it was not her mother’s fault, that no one else is to blame but herself. This scene made me stop and start writing this post.

I didn’t grow up in an ideal environment – by ideal, I mean loving parents, happy childhood, financially stable. If you see me talking about my nanay most of the time, there’s a big reason for that – I have an absent father (I blogged about this a couple of times here I believe) who was jobless, and mentally and physically abused me when I was a kid. My nanay struggled to make ends meet and to send us to decent schools. It was her priority – to make sure we get a good education. Yes, people, all these happen in real life, not just in Filipino movies.

Make peace with your past

Whenever I see or hear people blaming others, especially their parents, for who they turned out to be, I can’t help but be irritated. There are many people who were raised in the worst situations, but they managed to come out of it alive and kicking. And, I’m proud to say, I’m one of them. However, I can’t deny the fact that having a mother who loved me unconditionally and was ready to sacrifice everything for us helped in a major way.

What I’m saying is if you don’t stop the blame game and if you start taking responsibility or ownership for whatever you’ve accomplished or how far you’ve gone in your life, you will not move forward. All your decisions were your own. All the paths you took were because you led yourself down that road. Unless someone forcibly dragged you there or made you do something that will ruin your life, YOU are YOUR OWN responsibility once you reach adulthood.

 

Be Better

In the same way, stop saying you’re stuck in whatever situation you’re in because of your past. You have all the chances in the world to change your situation. The question is, are you ready to take action?

Be Better

Sure, it’s easier said than done. That’s the point. It has to be done. You can start with small steps and figure out your way from there.

Respect yourselfLet go.

Move forward.

Be happy.

Make yourself happy.

And don’t cheat or be the other woman/man.

Love.

Love deeply.

 

By the way, that love-making scene between Bea and John Lloyd was HOT! Finally, no more cheesy love scenes. :))

Also, am I the only one who’s been expecting Ronaldo Valdez to have a heart attack from the first time I saw him in the movie? LOL I think they should stop giving him characters with heart problems.